


I Want My Sarcasm Back

by kirbymanx



Category: Banjo-Kazooie Series, I Want My Hat Back - Jon Klassen
Genre: Female Protagonist, Happy Ending, Happy compared to the source material, Out of Character, Parody, Quest, Sad Kazooie, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 14:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirbymanx/pseuds/kirbymanx
Summary: A breegull lost her sarcasm. What if she never sees it again? WAIT! She HAS seen her sarcasm… (Ripoff Banjo-Kazooie Parody of the literary classic ‘I Want My Hat Back’ by Jon Klassen. WHICH YOU ALL SHOULD BUY!!)





	I Want My Sarcasm Back

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I Want My Hat Back](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/530933) by Jon Klassen. 

**I Want My Sarcasm Back**

My sarcasm is gone.  
I want it back.

* * *

Tootie, have you seen my sarcasm?

No, Kazooie. I haven’t seen your sarcasm.

OK. Thank you anyway.

* * *

Mumbo, have you seen my sarcasm?

Is Bird not being sarcastic now?

OK. Thank you anyway.

* * *

Grunty, have you seen my sarcasm?

No. I certainly did not steal it with a spell.  
I haven’t seen it a lot, know that well.  
I haven’t seen any sarcasm for my brew anywhere.  
I didn’t steal it, stop being such a dumb, stupid questionnaire.

OK.Thank you anyway.

* * *

Bottles, have you seen my sarcasm?

I haven’t seen anything all day. I have been trying to solve this jigsaw puzzle.

Would you like me to help you with that?

If you like.

* * *

King Jingaling, have you seen my sarcasm?

I witnessed a sarcasm once.  
It was cold, manipulative and uncaring.

That’s called lying. That’s not mine.  
Thank you anyway.

* * *

Captain Blubber, have you seen my sarcasm?

Yar… What is a sarcasm?

Thank you anyway.

* * *

Nobody has seen my sarcasm.  
What if I’ll never be myself again?  
What if nobody ever finds it?

My poor sarcasm.  
I miss it so much.

What’s the matter, Kazooie?

I have lost my sarcasm, Banjo.  
And nobody has seen it.

Can you describe your sarcasm to me?

It’s obnoxious, condescending, and abras…

I HAVE SEEN MY SARCASM.

Hohhahhohhahhohhahhohhahhohhahhohhahhohhahbreeeeeehohhahhohhahhohhahhohhahhohhahhohhah.

YOU, GRUNTY. YOU STOLE MY SARCASM.

…

I’m falling off my tower… The one thing for which I cower…

I love my sarcasm.

Excuse me, Kazooie, have you found your sarcasm?

No. Why are you asking me.  
I haven’t found it.  
I haven’t found it at all.  
I’m not being sarcastic.  
Don’t ask me any more questions.

I’ll keep on looking, then. Thank you anyway.


End file.
